i was making a mix cd for a friend who is moving out of his old house. i was trying to put songs on it that we listened to at the house. we had a lot of good good memories at this house and we had an amazing soundtrack the entire time. so i started to actually listen to these songs instead of just reading the track names. and my heart broke. really heavily broke inside of my chest. so many memories. it's amazing how much a year can bring you. how much happiness. but i suppose i have even more to look forward to in san fran. but it's going to be different. not bad. not good. different.

life as of 5:36 pm on May 27th 2008

I am a single woman on the verge of something huge. I got into a car accident today and it was the final icing on a shit show of a weekend cake. I keep positive affirmations written down on scraps of paper and tucked inside of this little leather pouch that someone who will always be really important to me bought for me in Italy.

I am buying myself tickets to Radiohead in Golden Gate park on August 22nd. Happy early birthday to me? I think so.

So I'm really lucky, we are all really lucky, to have the friends I have and to love the ones I love.

This weekend is going to be fun, Christiner and Ciarz debauchery.
July will be coming as soon as I blink and I will be a California girl once and for all.
Then the first week of August I will be in Colorado for the wedding of the century.
Then August 22nd will be Radiohead
August 30th will be friend invasion for Sarah Whitman's 21st birthday!!!

So I'm trying to also figure out what I want to do with my life, and as you all know I live for three things. Art, Fashion, and.... Guns N Roses. But I'm also a die hard environmentalist. So I was considering saying screw art I want to do environmental studies at SFSU, but then talking to my dear friend Lindsay today I was like shit, I want to do something with fashion!! I wish that I could make fashion lines more environmentally friendly for a living. That way I would win everything! Or have my own environmentally friendly fashion line, jk I can't draw.

Tell me what to do with my life!!!!!

I've lost my favorite thing.
No one knows that it's my favorite thing,
but it is.
It means the world to me and I need to find it.
I've dug through my entire bedroom trying to find it and I am becoming desperate.

Things are changing a lot for me. 2 months until I move to San Francisco. I'm very excited. I need to invest in a rolling rack and some organizational items.

But I really wish it was July so my life could really start.

I am stuck inside of my own head.

in sad and hard times i try to remind myself that, First of all: I am tired. I am true of heart! And also: You are tired. You are true of heart!

oh and this is fairly important too.

http://flickr.com/photos/zachk/sets/72157604491249433/detail/

If it's not broken, break it.

I sat in my backyard for 3 hours today. I made lists and wrote letters and tried to organize my brain. I really tried to break down my thoughts about SF, myself, my life, and what I want. I'm just re-evaluating things. I think every now and again everyone just needs to break things in their life down and figure out what makes them tick, what drives them, what makes them who they are. So far I haven't changed my mind about a thing, thats good, that makes me proud of the person I am right now. I haven't second guessed myself. I have so much faith in myself and my relationships. But I'm still searching. I'll let you know what I figure out.

Love you.

pretty please? with sugar on top?

my nice kind boyfriend bought me this little gem. only it's gold. it's the best. i just need a better chain for it. he also bought me shark socks. i'm a lucky lady.


san fran stuff got weird today, and then got better. talked to an old friend, i'm talking kindergarden. we lived in the same neighborhood and she was definitely one of my first girl friends. we used to watch movies that were far too scary for our young minds together. well turns out she lives in san fran now. which is nuts. years later and we're going to be living in the same city again. brightened my spirits a little bit.